But this time they went too far.
This time they tried to take on one of my all time favorite movies. Ever.
In the Buzzfeed blog "12 Questions Disney Forgot to Answer about Beauty and the Beast", they've once again forgotten what fantasy and magic are. So let's set things straight.
Most of the sub-questions I'm answering can be found in the original blog.
First let me say this: Donna Dickens, the Buzzfeed Blogger, has quite the mouth on her! Normally that doesn't bother me...but in connection with Disney.
Oh girl. It's on.
Who the actual hell is this? Well, Donna, you've forgotten rule #1 - magic. Actually you've forgotten a whole heckuva lot so let's get into this, shall we?
- Prince Adam's parents are dead. It's not that hard to fathom, as most Disney parents have passed into the great beyond.
- A curse of such magnitude affects more than just the person cursed. In most Beauty and the Beast stories, the curse either lasts a long time (long enough for the towns nearby to forget) or the curse affects the memory of the towns (erasing all existence of the royals from history). Disney likely chose the second. This also works because the Beast has a whole Kingdom that is cursed, if you remember the end of the movie (and apparently you don't).
Who punishes an 11-year-old for not letting a stranger in the house?
- Theory 1: Prince Adam wasn't 11. He was suspended in time. The flower kept them from aging. He was actually 20 and 10 years passed, dragging out the 1 normal Earth year within the magical realm (because nobody is going to get over being a beast in just one year).
- Theory 2:This is way back in the past, when 12-13 would have been considered "a man". Assuming his parents are dead, Prince Adam is acting under his advisers (Cogsworth and Lumiere) care until old enough to rule on his own.
At 11 years old, he shows no remorse, care, or kindness. The Good Fairy sees that "there was no love in his heart" and that's why she cursed him. (However, Buzzfeed, if you're interested in playing with this idea, you can always read Monstrosity).
- Theory 3:This one is my favorite: the prologue says "...an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year..." 21st year doesn't mean 21st birthday. It could mean that the rose was able to bloom 21 years past being cursed. (this could support the Disney Canon seen below...at 15 year old boy, and then 21 years of the rose, with only ten passing and him being 25 with Belle)
- But wait! If you say this, and Lumiere says it's only been 10 years, why does the rose stop blooming by the end of the movie?
- I'm glad you asked. In this theory, we follow that it will bloom until his 21st year (as beast) and "If he could learn to love and be loved in return by the time the last petal fell, the spell would be broken."
- So the PETALS may have started falling because he fell in love with Belle, therefore accelerating the process. Otherwise, why would petals only start falling when Belle arrived?
Why did Belle even open the door here?
Who are the faceless bastards in the background?
What is going on with this time-traveling portrait?
What would have happened if Belle touched the rose?
How did Belle get his heavy unconscious ass onto her horse?
How does Chip even exist?
- Time is frozen, deary. Chip is frozen in a childlike mental state. He's six, forever (or at least 10-21 years, depending).
- The other cups don't have eyes, that leads us back to the inanimate objects having a bit of self-awareness. And Mrs. Potts isn't a cruel lady. She sees these inanimate objects as family and doesn't want them to feel left out. Now that she's a teapot and her son is a cup, well by-golly those are his new brothers and sisters. It would make it easier on the little kid in the long run, anyway.
Is Belle stupid?
Whose clothes are they wearing?
- Most royals have their own tailor. No doubt this person turned into some form of needle or old fashioned sewing machine. It could make clothes for the Beast over the last 10 years.
- The Beast had a mother once, and she wore clothes (SHOCKER!). She had closets full of them, no doubt. Don't you remember the armoire with all the clothes inside? Hello...Belle's dresses...
Why didn’t Belle just say she’d be back?
How did these people not know there was a cursed monster within walking distance?
- The town as had their memories modified.
- The town is too far away to actually understand what's going on in neighboring town.
- The town thought the royals just up and vanished...not realizing there was a beast there the whole time.
In the end, it's my blog so I'm biased but....I win!
Please try google or SOMETHING next time, Buzzfeed. You're killing me here.