Sunday, August 4, 2013

Struggling Single Somethings - The Life of a Girl on Her Own

There are rules to being single. Weird rules. None of them coincide, and nobody knows how to treat it. Especially if you're a single woman.

  • You get the people that don't get it - they treat single like it's a disease and they can't understand why you have chosen it.  Because being single is all up to me and there is no other party to consider. "Why are you still single?"
  • You get the ones who think single-hood is the best place to be ever, and often they make comments about how they wish they too were still single. "Never get married." 
  • You also get those who are determined to say the ultra-cliche, super unhelpful things like "You'll find the right one when you least expect it." "When you stop looking, that's when HE will find you." Or my favorite "God is your husband. You're so lucky."

I never know how to act, you know, as a single gal.  I'm young - twenty-three - and I know I have plenty of time blah, blah, blah, but the world has so many standards.  It's hard to figure out how to be a lady in 2013 (or 2014, 2015....etc).

Society tells us to sleep around - try different things on. Experiment.  That isn't my style. It's NOT my style. I can't even express how that is not me. I won't/can't/refuse to do that. It's not in my beliefs, my moral system, or my idea of fun. (Also, side note - women that DO sleep around as society expects are often called sluts after following the rules. Women who don't are called prudes.)

I have always been a fan of ladies and gentlemen. I like class.  The classier the better. So, for me (in my fun little head) I function on the guy making the first move. I love Pride and Prejudice (what woman doesn't), but I am not Elizabeth.

I am Jane.

Jane who is too timid and self-conscious to show Bingley that she likes him. 

I can't tell men I'm interested in them.  I just can't. I try, and always fail. I'm so afraid of rejection. So many people tell me "you'll regret not telling him more."

No I won't.  
I would rather never tell than have Brant (that's him. You remember how I said I'd tell you about him?) look at me with that sympathetic smile and say "I'm so sorry, Kelsey. I just don't feel that way."
That would be so much worse.
There's no such thing as a "sure thing."

I am Jane.
I have an issue with my self-confidence. I'm working on it, I promise. I'm not very good at thinking highly of myself. I can't imagine why anyone would want me.
So why would I admit to wanting someone I don't think I deserve?

It's so hard to be a single woman. 
Today I write this because I can't say it.  I can't say "Brant, I like you."  
I can't say enough "It's okay. I really don't hate being single."

There's never a right answer.

Now it's your turn to tell me why I'm wrong.
To tell me how "It's better to have loved and lost."
Say all those cliches you already know nobody likes.

Have at it. Find something I haven't heard before and I will send you a monkey.
No joke.