Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Sick Ain't Pretty on Me

Kelsey's Israel Blundering Confessional: Part 2

Newark airport has a strange policy. They don't turn on their AC until halfway through April or May, no matter how hot it is outside. They leave their heat on.
As we landed in Newark and stepped out into the airport, I thought I might die.  I don't travel well, you know, but I also don't take heat all that great either.

The heat is worse than any I've experienced in the year. It's sweltering with no escape. As we all drag ourselves around the airport, searching for water and comfort, my health drops lower and lower by the minute.  No matter how much water I drink, I can't seem to feel right.

We board the plane, and I know it's at least 9 hours before I will see land again.  It's a red eye, so I pop a Unisom and some Dramamine and allow myself to drift off, Owen to my left, Brosef on the other side of the aisle.

I sleep fitfully for the next two ish hours. Our plane is jolting and horrible, and I still feel too hot. Owen swaps me seats, no doubt seeing how pale I am and wondering if I need more space (I was in the middle).  By the aisle, I shift many times, occasionally nodding off only to snap back up again.

A never ending supply of awesome, even after 36+ hours of travel
Brosef falls asleep and my stomach starts to churn. That overjoyed feeling of "oh no please don't let this happen to me in a closed space next to a coworker! Please God No!"

But alas, my body has never been cooperative with my panic.  Let's just say all the water I kept drinking came back to visit, Linda Blair style.
And my sick bag had a hole.
And Owen had to get me HIS sick bag.
And I had to run off to the bathroom to continue to see the water from before again and again.

I kept nothing down. Owen was kind to me while Brosef slept, unable to know what torture I was in. I only felt worse having someone non-family taking care of me. He may be like a big brother...but he ISN'T. It's not the same.  All I wanted was for my brother to wake up and make me feel better, as I was mortified to be looked after by Owen.
My Brosef is the coolest guy I know

And to keep you all entertained.

Sick ain't pretty on me, and I was one sore sight to behold.  As we got off the plane, EVERYONE noticed how ill I looked and took pity on me.
But I was working. There wasn't time for sickness or embarrassment  I had 47 other people to take care of. So away I went, focusing on my job.

I don't think I felt well again until we stepped outside the airport and I once again felt a fresh breeze on my face.
Most glorious moment right there.
Brosef and Owen and I worked on our phones to make them international (theirs never did work quite right), and we prepared for the trip of a lifetime.  That first night, watching the sunset, I couldn't believe I was actually standing there. It's all I wanted to remember about that day.
Everyone connecting with the world again

Of course, I will forever remember the insanity behind my sickness. We never forget our most embarrassing moments, do we?  Well, I suppose I should then tell you about the one that happened a few days later...

Sunset over Jerusalem
Tell me, what's the most embarrassing thing YOU'VE had in front of a coworker, friend, or even stranger?
Come make me feel better - I need the virtual hug!
 And stay tuned for more to come

Don't forget all comments of followers will enter themselves to win something from Israel, as well as a hearty gift card to one of your choosing: Amazon, Barns and Noble, iTunes. You can end up with as many as 5 entries by the time this blog blast is done!


Anonymous said...

I was in a rush to get to snagged a charred hotdog on the go off the grill....and ate it on the way. When I got there, a new employee came in needing treatment. I could see he was young and nervous. I made sure to smile extra wide, and reassured him through out the 10 min. treatment. It wasn't til I got past a mirror later, that I saw that all the charred bits of the hotdog I ate earlier were speckled in my front teeth crevices. UFFDA! Poor wonder he looked so nervous & aloof. He was trying hard not to look at me and not appear rude.Now, I always make sure to check my teeth when eating on the run!

Emily Kunkel said...

Once I had to leave the main kitchen at work to get something from another kitchen. I walk really fast so when I went to grab the door handle and missed, I couldn't stop myself and ran right into the door. Full force. I could feel my face reddening, but it was okay because I didn't think anyone saw me. That is, until I heard a snicker coming from the dish room. That was about a year ago, but Mark, the dishwasher, still brings it up. When I come back from college for breaks, he always asks if I learned to open doors while I was there.

Anonymous said...

Sooo many to choose from... Hmmm...the day my daughter broke her back and I refused to believe she was really hurting? No, that one is too embarrassing. How about the time I waved across the school yard and fell off the sidewalk and went down like a 2 ton elephant, ouch! Or the time I got on one of those rides that hangs you upside down, but the seat belt wouldn't buckle around me, so I screamed "Wait!" and ran off the ride red and humiliated, but very much alive. You have to be feeling better by now!


Kelsey-plain and simple said...

Emily, I walk fast too - I know that kind of pain/shame! I play "Dodge Wall" with myself because I'm always banging into walls from cutting corners.

LaDonna, I laughed out loud at the "Wait!" story. I totally would have done that. I always panic when my ride belt won't buckle/click/snap. I'm the rider who continuously asks "But it will click in, right?" driving the carnies nuts.

You guys have definitely made me feel better about my little fiasco. Luckily, my coworker doesn't keep bringing it up ;)

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Wtheck? They leave the heat on no matter what? That makes so much sense NOT. I apologize to you, Kelse, for how much I delight in the hole in your sick bag.
I'm sorry. Still sorry. Yep, still highly amused. Sorry.

It is difficult to stick my hand into the past without coming up with some humiliating memory. To spare you a long tirade, I'll grab the big moment on top.

Once I mixed up the word tentacles with testicles.

I moved.

Sometimes you have to do that.

Kelsey-plain and simple said...

Stephanie, laughing out loud. Best story ever told in 11 words.
Oh my word.
Still laughing.
Fair trade, right?

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Yes, it is a fair trade. It is quite therapeutic to be able to get even that much out.

Anonymous said...


When I was in basic training in Lackland AFB, I remember I had to get to a doctor's appointment across base. On my way there, I had to cross by a squadron of Air Force men doing P.T. I tried to slip by them as quietly as possible (I was very shy at the time), then someone shouted, "Eyes left!" that was the most embarrassing yet exhilarating feeling I ever had as a young woman. Go Air Force! Lol!


Katie Cross said...

Off the top of my head, I can't think of anything too embarrassing that's happened to me in front of a co worker. As a pediatric RN, I felt like I was always the one getting thrown up ON, or spit up on, or had socks thrown at. Or called a monster.

But one time, when i was taking care of a baby, I stood up to put her back in the crib and my scrub pants fell down. Luckily, no one saw, and I couldn't stop giggling. :)

Very well written. Owen sounds like a keeper!

Kelsey-plain and simple said...

Isabel, that's a great story! Eek! I can understand being embarrassed. I'd have blushed!

Katie - that story is hilarious! I loved it! For the record, Owen isn't mine to keep, just a really good coworker and friend. So glad he was there though! Way more embarrassing than a stranger...but way better when it came to needing someone to look after me.

DM Kilgore said...

My first job, at age 15, was waitressing at Po'Folks restaurant. On my first night, a man ordered the 3 pc. chicken platter. He was very upset when I arrived at his table with just a leg. I apologized, hurried off to the kitchen to find out why the cook had shortchanged me a breast and a thigh, only to find said parts lying in the middle of the floor just outside the kitchen doors. A crowd had gathered, because an older gentleman was making some rather funny (not to me at the time)flapping motions at the chicken parts and clucking, telling them to "RISE UP AND FLY AWAY". I was mortified. I never did learn to balance those trays quite right.

Call Me Heretic said...

Ummm, I don't really embarrass that easily. Maybe that time on a missions trip that a complete stranger (male complete stranger) came up behind me and hugged me. Apparently the girls in my youth group had told him I liked him and that he should give me a hug. He's just lucky that my arm was pinned to my side, otherwise he'd've been baptized with red kool-aid.