A STOLEN KISS IS HERE!

Holy guac and moly. A Stolen Kiss is out today! 

I had this idea that I'd go into some amazing detail about things...but that's what my email list has been for (and for all who are not on that list, head over to www.swanitude.com and join! The good stuff is there). 

BUT 

You still have to know all the goods. 

My first novel is published. Now. Right now. You can buy it RIGHT NOW!

I'm doing a huge party on Facebook--head on over to check things out and win.

OR 

If you just want a book and couldn't care less about fanfare, check out A Stolen Kiss wherever books are sold online :) 

A stolen kiss. An unstable curse. One big mess in the making.

Derric Harver never expected to amount to anything more than the palace stableboy, but when Princess Maria's curse keeps her from accepting a prince's proposal, she turns to him for help, and he doesn't dare refuse.

With the help of a lady's maid and a prince, Derric and Maria embark on a dangerous adventure to find the sorceress who cast the curse. Along the way they battle deadly creatures and make new friends--all the while struggling with the undeniable chemistry between them. Reaching their destination won't be easy, but the true danger peril in the truths they've fought for years to keep hidden.

A Stolen Kiss is the first in the Stolen Royals Series--an adventure with magical creatures, dangerous lies, and being true to the power within.

Faking it: My Decemopment

I can't adult today

I'm too busy having a decemopment.

Decemopment? That's not a word.

Yes it is. I made it up and defined it yesterday after accidentally mistyping 'development' and autocorrect saying "I got nothing."

Decemopment:noun (des-eh-mop-ment) That moment when you've gotten so emotional, you need a mop to clean up the mess.

It could be a happy or a sad thing. It would really apply to those soldier videos where they surprise their family members and everyone turns into a puddle of tears.

Or it could happen when you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you and you break all of things/burn all of his clothes before dissolving into a puddle of tears...

Either way, tears are probably involved.

Today I'm fighting my own decemopment. It's been a rough month and a half and my psyche is fighting all the upheaval.
Long story short, everyone is gone. Long story a little bit longer...my best friend moved away and now my Brosef (the best brother that ever lived) is gone for 5 weeks in the boonies where I can't talk to him. *pouts*

Top that off with other drama (divorce, broken hearts, health crises) and I am pretty sure the zombie apocalypse is about to happen.
Maybe that's just me.
Or maybe that's because Walking Dead will start again soon. *Shudders*

Either way, I'm totally faking it today. Smile. Nod. Rinse. Repeat.

Any of you having a decemopment moment? Sound off in the comments. Ten points for Gryffindor if you use decemopment in a casual conversation today.

If you were curious:

Adjective: Decemopmenty: "I'm sad and decemopmenty today."

Verb: Decemope: "Can we decemope together? I'm having a rough day."

Adverb: Decemopely: "He sniffled decemopely, tears streaming down his face and leaving tracks in the dirt smudged on his cheeks."

Thank you to Katie Cross for unintentionally creating the verb form of this word. Let's all band together and get it in the dictionary! Hey, Twerk is in there, why can't our word be in there, too?

Hufflepuff Haters Can Go Hug a Basilisk

It's a popular thing among the Harry Potter fandom to put Hufflepuff down as the "leftovers" house, simply because Helga Hufflepuff said she would take the lot and teach them just the same.

Know what Helga Hufflepuff wasn't?

Prejudice.

Stuck up.

Arrogant.

Look, I'm a Ravenclaw--the house with the greatest conglomeration of intellect--does that mean all smart individuals or ONLY smart individuals go to Ravenclaw?

Heck no.

Hermione is proof of that.

In fact, Ravenclaws, while proven to be the more studious, bookish crowd, are often also the weirdest/quirkiest. From Luna Lovegood to Padma Patils. 

Not all Gryffindors are brave. Helloooo Peter Pettigrew. 

Not all Slytherins are wicked. Thank you, Regalas Black, Severus Snape, and MERLIN is even rumored to have been a Slytherin (depends on whether or not the net is right).

So while the Slytherins and Gryffindors (and yes, even some Ravenclaws) hate on the Huffs, I'm here to stand with them and defend them:

Tonks was a Hufflepuff.
Cedric was a Hufflepuff.
Newt Scamander, Pomona Sprout, and many Ministers of Magic!

GUYS! Zachariah Smith is a Hufflepuff! The snarkiest, creepiest punk that ever did walk the halls and NOT be a Slytherin! That right there shows that they aren't all dotty, simpletons like they're treated.

Hufflepuffs are strong and loyal as hell. They'll stand beside you until the end. They're brave and wise and yes, even cunning.

And excuse me, but do you realize their house symbol is a badger? Badgers are dangerous AF! Don't you know why we say Honey badgers don't give a damn? Because they don't. 
THEY EAT COBRAS!
Watch out, Slytherin.

Maybe Hufflepuffs aren't the leftovers, but the ones who don't go to the other houses because they aren't just ONE THING. They're so much more than that!

Rowling herself has called this year the Dawn of the Hufflepuff.

Let's not have her fans disappoint her by hating on our fellow students and alumni. If Harry had been sorted into Hufflepuff, would we be saying this about one of the other houses? Stop the #Hufflehate.

Shape up and shut up. United we stand against the dark arts in this world. Don't make the fandom a negative place. 

Embrace a Hufflepuff today! 

A Stolen Kiss Cover Reveal

MY BOOK HAS A COVER!

IT'S REAL!

MY BOOK IS GOING TO BE IN PEOPLE'S HANDS THIS WINTER!

GAH!

*dies*

Okay. Love it? Good, because so do I.

Oh, the Pain (Ode to the Smushed Toe)

Picture this:

There is this beautiful chaise lounge at Costco...it could fit 2 people on it (hello cuddlefest) or a person and a dog (which will be me and Tobias, let's be honest).

It's perfect. So, of course, I buy it. The problem is, it's heavy and awkward and now I need to get it into my house and downstairs where I want it to reside. 

PIVOT!!!
Credit: Tumblr

Did I say problem? No problem! I have a Brosef with muscles to help me carry it.

New problem: Box won't fit through door.

NO PROBLEM! I will cut it out of the box like a genius!

So I begin cutting. Cut. Cut. Cut. I'm wearing flip flops, because shoes are important while moving furniture. Cut. Cut. Cut...
Randomly lose my balance and launch my foot into the corner of the box.

Commence stream of unintelligible yelling on front porch, to which Brosef says "Kelsey, shhh...you have neighbors."
And I reply, "DON'T CARE! TOE AARRRRRRRRGH!"

Because 1 Friends GIF is never enough
Credit: Tumblr

Now, in pain, I've triumphantly cut the chaise free. I'm hella pissed and fired up to get this thing taken care of.

Mission complete. Chaise is in place. I return up the stairs and see...

Blood, gushing from my toe.

You see, I didn't just stub my toe...I tore off the pretty little toenail that resides upon it. OUCH! (See, Brosef...I totally had a right to shout it loudly from the porch, despite the neighbors.)

Credit Tumblr

It's funny how stupid things in life can become metaphorical revelations.
Sometimes we want something, are willing to work for it, put time and effort into it...we slave away and do things most people would say scrawny little blondes could not do (or is that just me?).
It's so worth it. We have what we wanted. The Chaise is in place and it's the best seat in the house. Life. is. Good.

Except there's always a cost. The chaise cost me money, sure, but what it really cost was days of stupid limping. 

We work hard for things, but we don't come out unscathed. Whatever it is you're working for--writing, music, job promotion, family...it doesn't matter. You aren't going to go through all of that effort and walk out without any bruises.
Or any broken toes.
Or noses.
Or glasses maybe, I don't know. Things break.

Credit: Tumblr

The point is, despite all of the pain shooting up from whatever or wherever (likely heart pain. Sorry guys. It's going to suck), we keep moving forward (Hey! Walt Disney!). 

We don't stop.
We press on.
We push past the pain and defy the odds by carrying the damn heavy chaise down the stairs and into the proper place.

In the end, it's so worth it. In the end you forget the pain required to succeed. You're ready to do it again.

Game on, life. I can take whatever you want to throw at me. I will win.

Credit: giphy

But in the future? Well, I'll wear close-toed shoes. 

Effing Sadness

I just saw Disney and Pixar's Inside Out.

Disney Pixar's Inside Out - Photo Credit: Disney and Kelsey Keating

Deep. Stuff.

Like, beyond children deep. This movie might be a cartoon and might have funny, happy, kid-centric things in it, but the writers at the core are deep thinkers. They're playing hard ball and the adults will all see it (older kids might too).

The core that I walk away with (that isn't a spoiler) is this: Sadness is important.

In today's world, you shouldn't be sad. Sadness isn't welcome. Don't be a downer. Don't share your feelings. Don't ask people to see the darker parts of you and still love you.

Sadness isn't welcome.

Be happy! Show off all of your best parts. Post all of the great things that happen to you in a day online to let everyone know how great your life is...even if that's only 1/10 of what your world is really like.

Don't bring anyone down. Depression is a state of mind. Get over it.

How much damage are we doing when we teach people this concept? When we raise children to believe this and they turn into adults who can't cope with the hard parts of life?

This is destruction.

Part of being an effing swan means accepting your whole self. Being a swan doesn't mean you're always happy, confident, and perfect.

Being a swan is being imperfection. Being a swan sometimes means being a mess, being sad...embracing your emotions. Real effing swans feel, and feel deeply.

The feels! Credit: Tumblr and Kelsey Keating

You should never have to apologize for how you feel. Sometimes you may have to apologize for how you ACT when you're feeling deeply, but that's on you for your behavior ;). If something makes you sad...if something makes you happy...if something makes you angry...if it's rational, than no one should make you feel wrong for feeling (obviously if you're being irrational, I can't help you...but we've all been there).

Today I just want you to know that. I want you to know that you aren't alone. If people are telling you to "just get over it" or "change your outlook" and it isn't working...I've been there. Sometimes you have to be there.

Sadness can heal. Sadness can bring people together. It keeps you from bottling dark emotions that will only eat away at your gloriously beautiful soul. Sadness is important. It's okay to feel it.

Embrace your inner swan (and outer swan). Embrace your rational emotions. Get the help you need or gather around with the people you need. Just know that the Original Swan is with you. We aren't alone. We aren't weird (okay, maybe we are but being normal is vastly overrated).

We are human. We are beautiful.

Welcome, swans. You are beautiful.

One Pissed Off Swan

Today I am vexed. 

I never know what's going to ruffle my feathers, but when it happens I'm ready to be on a rampage. The problem? Well, I'm not much of a verbal rampager. I'm far more adept at putting my purge on the page. 

So, today I am vexed.

I am vexed by my own swanitude. It's hard to change your whole outlook and still have those around you treat you like the old you. 

What does it take to have others see the value you see in yourself? How long do you wait for them to see it? 

I've been reading the most AMAZING books lately. The Choosing by Rachelle Dekker, and Bon Bons to Yoga Pants by Katie Cross. Both books are about identity and understanding that maybe you're awesome all on your own.

If you haven't read The Choosing, I need you to stop what you're doing, follow the link and buy it for your own reading pleasure.

Credit: Rachelle Dekker

As for BBtYP, that one is a serial novel FREE on Wattpad and already has 30+ chapters.

Credit: Katie Cross

Lexie Greene is an overweight college student who wants to lose weight to get hot for her handsome Facebook friend Bradley. Along the way, though, Lexie is learning that maybe she shouldn't be so worried about being a size two, and instead concern herself with being healthy for herself and herself alone.

Lexie is in the early cygnet stage, but she's slowly realizing that she's a swan without a man. The reason I love BBtYP is because I know how it feels. I've never dealt with my weight the way Lexie has, but I have hella dealt with my worth. 
I (and many other young women) have felt the "I'm not hot enough for a guy like Bradley" or "no one could like me 'as I am'." 

Today, I am vexed on Lexie's behalf.

There's something so empowering about figuring out you are not an ugly duckling, but an effing swan. It's such a great experience that I hope all of you have had or will have soon. 

It's also easily lost.
Finding your swanitude isn't a one time thing. You don't suddenly have permanent confidence as you rock the world with your greatness.

No, you struggle with it. Sometimes daily, hourly, or by the minute.

Today I am vexed, because today I am struggling. I'm struggling with others not seeing my swanitude. They treat me like I'm not worth their time, and they make me feel like that lie is true.

Know what? I'm more than worth their time. I'm not worthless, nor am I forgettable (even if they forget me). 

I may have a hard time remembering this today, and maybe I'm tired of others acting like I'm not worth their time, but that just proves it's an uphill battle.

It's an uphill battle for Lexie, who, if I knew her in real life, I would like to tell is beautiful as she is. If the man she's been dreaming about can't see that, then she needs to tell him he isn't worth her time and move on. 

There are days where I need to tell myself that, as well. I am beautiful, even if others treat me like I'm still the wallflower who belongs in the role of 'quirky best friend' and not 'leading lady'. 

This is a reminder to all of the Lexie Greene's out there...you're beautiful. You're an effing swan. If someone makes you FEEL like you are WORTH LESS...maybe it's time to cut ties.

You're worth so much more.
Surround yourself with people who see your beauty (in and out). End the vexation within my soul.

Oh, and go read The Choosing and Bon Bons to Yoga Pants.